stranger to yourself!

me, myself and i went on a journey to rediscover the inner me..and after countless days of walking, feeding, torturing myself i stay hung up, thirsty and clueless and still stranger to myself. I see thousands of people drinking and dancing ...a person wth no sense of humor making the world go crazy with his joke,...a person who makes the world swirl beneath his feets telling them what a crappy life he has. Do they need couple of drinks to bring themselves out? But what the hell do I need?

So do you really know yourelf? Like me are you clueless? How can you tell if this is the real you or a stranger in your shoes? We change personality everyday depending on who is infront of us. You dont talk to your dad like you talk to your best buddie who calls you all these crazy names...so when do you stop thinking and talking? The minute you start thinking your personality changes..the minute you start judging the stranger creeps in...so me, myself and i turned around and walked away from those people who defeated us.

and today me, myself and i made good friends with the stranger in my shoes!!

to my forbidden apple...

in the midst of the dawn you came through..and i surrendered myself to you
like a star in the dark sky you lit me up and entered me
i crave to caress your face one more time before i die
i long to feel the forbidden apple before i release my last breath

i dont ask you for love, i dont ask you to take me home
i just want you to need me like i need you love

yes...this is me craving for mellow..it took me so long to say i love him and he made me feel like a dirty slut. I am one of those girls who saved her virginity for the man she married..and the i met mellow and my life changed. He became my forbidden apple that i tasted one night and now every night i sleep longing for his touch.

I told him i will never call him but then i call him again..i am crazy i know..and i still feel like the dirty mistress in disguise..i know he will never want me but i really need him to be there. I dont expect anything from him just for him to say that he needs me. It took me 2 years to tell him that i love him and all he said was "OK" ..it took me ages for me to tell him that i wont call him and he said "OK"..it took me so many days to call him back again and i asked him "do you give a shit about me" and he said "he will talk about it later"

so here i am ...back again..feeling like the dirty slut that was his forbidden apple for a night!!